We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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