wat bout pragnant strippers??
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
