Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
