"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
