Sponge bath it is.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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