Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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