I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
