: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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