This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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