why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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