why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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