It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Ambien. No doubt about it.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
