Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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