I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
