hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
