Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
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He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
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I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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