the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
