I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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