Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
