My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
