Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
