Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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