To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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