Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
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you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
