I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
