so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
people are starting to question the shark bite story
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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