My first STD was from a foam party
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize