dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
vagina is talking i cant
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
