none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
