so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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