Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
