Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
