Her vagina should come with caution tape.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
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Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
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Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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