If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
