I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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