I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
