Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
is wine microwaveable?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
