He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
