Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize