He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
