Your dad touched me again.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
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