At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
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