this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
