Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I believe in your delicious
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
The ass gains better be worth it
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