In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
