butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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