Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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