didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
