i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
God gave him joint rollers for hands
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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