Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
i think im in europe. pls send help
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
