You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Randomize
