i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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