the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
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She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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