we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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