omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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