only if we run a train.
done.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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