The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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