If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
