so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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