She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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