What a fucking waste of an outfit
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
