Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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